Grampa didn't want a formal funeral service. He was never one for organized religion as an adult. Before he was plagued with dementia, he made his wishes known. And Grama, as ever, carried them out.
We had a family gathering at the condo clubhouse on Saturday afternoon, which would have been very much to his liking. Family came from all over to visit, eat, drink, and share Grampa stories. Condo friends also came by. There were at least 45 people in attendance for Grampa's private, non-service. Mom had photos of Grampa's life spread throughout the building and they were wonderful story prompts.
There was lots of food, cookies, Grama Sally mints, and vino. No one could be hungry.
Grama was tired yet pleased to be surrounded by those who love them both. Many people shared stories with her, gave hugs, and listened to her remembrances.
Dad did a short talk welcoming people and setting the scene for Mom and Phyllis to share briefly.
Mom has been so strong throughout and yet I know she's brokenhearted. She spoke beautifully about her father as a teacher, and appreciator, and a partner for her mother. Phyllis read Psalm 121.
Dad reminded us that Grampa lived a life of faith even if he did not put it into words. He did very well and clearly Grama appreciated it.
The Allstot clan was out in full support. This made my heart full. I will never forget one time when Sue adamantly declared Mom to be a full member of the Allstot family - not an "outlaw". While that was meaningful then, this show of support meant more to me. They all drove over. They came. That speaks volumes.
Grama cannot doubt her support circle. Her children are tired and raw and sad, but their love for their mother and dad is a powerful motivator. As she adjusts to her new reality, their constant presence will continue to be vital.
The kids did a nice job of visiting and then spent much of the time playing pool or fusbal upstairs.
Grama and Patty are the family matriarchs, holding court in their captains chairs. I love that they have each other, as well as the delightful extended family in the Valley.
These two were incahoots for much of the afternoon - sneaking food and lightening the mood.
So the formal farewells have been said and the next chapter begins. Grampa Allstot passed almost 20 years ago and I still feel the void of his absence. Now there's another hole, which cannot be filled. The edges will soften and time will dull the ache. After it all, we were fortunate to have Grampa for so long and our memories will live on.
Kenneth Gail Pobst, 22 September 1929 - 08 November 2019
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